Eat your fucking heart out;

UHM HELLLLLO LJ!?

2009-10-18T01:22:43Z

SO, i don't think i have used this live journal in over a year or so?
I miss it. I think it's what i need right now.

My boyfriend resides percicely 46.7 miles away from my poor soul.
Yeah. i Mapquested that shit. No big.
I can't deal with it. Who the fuck do your think your talking to?
TRUSTING TRIXY?

I hate my brain.

"what am i supposed to say,
when i'm all chocked up
and your okay"

Goal..

2008-08-11T16:35:49Z

Become better friends...

with myself.

1:01 am 7/14/08

2008-07-16T02:06:59Z

"i just prayed for like 5 mins straight. Im going to try so hard to believe in god mag. I thanked him for you."

-anonymous.

margggg @ 2008-07-07T17:33:00

2008-07-07T21:40:54Z

hartttt7 (5:20:11 PM): come home to me:'(

HELLLOOO MAKE ME WANNA KILL MYSELF!

I miss people so much.

11:11

2008-06-22T02:15:16Z

Give me a boy that appreciates stars, clouds and rainbows as much as i do. Give me a boy that will make me melt everytime i look at his gorgeous face. Give me a boy that i will be proud to have beside me when i am 70 and telling my grandchildren how in love i was when i was 17. Give me a boy that makes me laugh harder than anyone i have ever known. Give me a boy that puts a MAGGIE playlist on his ipod with all my favorite songs and actaually listens to it. Give me a boy that enjoys being with me day after day. Give me a boy that will hold me while i cry for absolutley no reason. Give me a boy that isn't afraid to call me a bitch. Give me a boy that listens to me and remembers everything i say. Give me a boy that hears what i don't say. Give me a boy that i can be a complete fool around. Give me a boy to be my best friend. Give me a boy to love me.

OH WAIT!..
<3333333

margggg @ 2008-06-15T20:18:00

2008-06-16T00:19:25Z

a bby DO0DLES (8:12:36 PM): Hey maggie, I just want you to know that no matter what, you're my one girl soulmate and whoever else thinks that they may be are wrong becuase you're the only girl i've ever met that can read my mind
MAGIS411 (8:15:46 PM): hey abby, i just want you to know that i will never ever have a connection with anyone in this world like do with you and no body can ever replace the memories that we have made together. You are the only person that i have ever met that has seen me at my absolute worst and still cares about me.

you dont know how sad that just made me.
you have no fucking clue.

I wanna tell you, how much, i love you..

2008-06-15T01:25:33Z

Sometimes,
when i think about how much i love you,
I get overwhelmed and almost vomit.
Boy.

Sometimes,
when i think about how much i miss you,
I start instantly crying and i almost vomit.
Sister.

Sometimes,
when i think about how much i hate you,
i slam my head off a wall, and i almost vomit.
Cunt.

Sometimes,
when i realise how much of a good friend you are,
I am so greatful, and i feel amazing.
Best.

I godzilla just pranced across my dresser.
don't worry, i got him.

I hate sitting at home and thinking
i wish i could just shut off my brain sometimes.
every time i convince myself that its okay, its not.
why cant it just be okay.

I am a cunt.
I am jealous.
I am terrible.
It's Biological.

margggg @ 2008-06-11T18:26:00

2008-06-11T22:29:05Z

it feels like someone ripped out my heart.
it feels like there is vomit in my mouth,
oh wait, there is.
It feels like i am so in love.

I dont want to think about this anymore.
:( :(

margggg @ 2008-06-01T17:43:00

2008-06-01T21:56:12Z

Dear Amanda Hamel,

this is exactly how i feel about you.
I love you.

margggg @ 2008-06-01T17:18:00

2008-06-01T21:37:46Z

Feels like i have always known you
and i swear i dreamt about you.

You are all i think about, all i want to think about. You are all i ever want to know. With you i feel infinite, i feel happy, i feel complete. I feel like i could never come in contact with another human being except you for the rest of my life and that would be completly okay. You are my bestfriend. I am so thankful for every single moment that i get to spend with you. I love you.

margggg @ 2008-05-29T21:42:00

2008-05-30T01:51:01Z

I can't wait for summer so i can be naked more

I fucking love David Strandburg.
He is better than you,
he will eat your babies.

David: ".. so what kind of porn do you guys watch?"
Maggie and Amanda: "you know disabilities, wheel chairs, terets, down syndrome, premature babies"

AH HA HA! we are the funniest!
you know it!

Today was a day filled with so much play time!
I love to play!

I miss my girl Dylan.
I feel like a a missing half with out her.
I feel like cryiing.

margggg @ 2008-04-29T19:47:00

2008-04-29T23:48:25Z

The butterflies don't usually last this long.
This boy is something special.
I am in love with my boyfriend.

This vacation:

2008-04-26T01:02:43Z

has been amazing
Spending almost everyday with my spicy hott boy
and almost everynight with my GIRL AMMMMMMANDA!!!!!!
we hate boys.

Dylan was supposed to come and visit.
haven't exactly seen her since february.
No worries, we're still as close as they left us.
I dont know what that was supposed to mean.

I saw Ab.
Clearly an hour of akwardly standing in my driveway
was not enough time for visting.
We're chatterboxes.
I need to actaully go to waterville.

I saw Shayyyyna!,
Shes a stinkkky hoe, i love her dearly.
<3333

IM A STUPID VEGETABLE
I have not eaten le viande
for exacftly 11 months today!
It wasn't hard.
fiest your eyes on this..
http://www.goveg.com/feat/chewonthis/

oo la la.

I'm starting to realise,

2008-04-26T00:46:32Z

how lucky i actually am.

How lucky it is that i have two of the best friends in the whole world..
Most people in thier life are lucky to experience this kind of connection with people maybe once, if at all.
I love them, i know i will know them as well as i do now, forever.

How lucky i am to have loved, be loved and love in the present tense..
I know what love is, i don't care who believes me.
Love doesn't require an age to when you can know it.

How lucky it was to have made the fucked up choices i've made..
I've lied, cheated and stolen. I've made the same mistakes over and over.
I have breakdowns, i cry, i don't treat myself good sometimes..
But, i do feel like i know myself better than anyone could imagine
That sounds weird, i dont care.

:)

margggg @ 2008-04-16T18:15:00

2008-04-16T22:29:46Z

my boyfriend is amazing.<33
fuck you, you dont know.

I saw something i should have today,
It didnt even hurt at all!
This is a good sign.
Im over it.
Your mom is over it.

I think that my mom has a 6th sense to help her ruin my life.
"OH NO!!! MAGGIE'S HAPPY! CALL HER NOW"
I told her that i hated her, i've never said it before.
I have never meant three words so much in my whole life.
I dont hate her for the drugs,
i dont hate her for all the wonderful prediciments shes put us in,
i dont hate her for beating the shit out of me,
i dont hate her for the lies
i hate her for not being there,
i hate her for not loving me like shes supposed to
Im complaining, i dont ever complain.
Fuck you if you dont like it.

margggg @ 2008-04-05T16:57:00

2008-04-05T21:06:16Z

Thinking about him gives me butterflies that make my knees bend.
I forgot what this feels like,
actually, i dont remember if i ever knew what this feels like.
I am happy.

margggg @ 2008-04-02T16:24:00

2008-04-02T20:29:57Z

So, theres this boy.

Im such a happy girl<3333

margggg @ 2008-03-24T16:12:00

2008-03-24T20:21:32Z

I am a wreck.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!
what is so great about her?
I don't understand.
I don't get like this over people.
;lakjf;lakjdf;lkj

I feel like im relapsing right now.

this was my friday;

2008-03-23T14:46:43Z

bright and early 8 am, get a nice wake up call from Allie.
"WE GOT SHIT TO DO IM COMMING TO GET YOU"
"NOO I DONT WANNA GO"
"Mag, yeah you do"
"okay."
haahhaa, shes controlling

Went a got a dress with her and shelb.
Got ready.
looked like jeffree star, meh whatevehhhh.
Got toast.
Me and Allie, we're lesbains.
Fuck you =)

la la la.

margggg @ 2008-03-20T21:04:00

2008-03-21T01:05:18Z

I just lost my shits.
right now, at this very moment, i hate myself.

sick.

cant stop crying.

BRAVO BRAVO

2008-03-19T19:20:36Z

It feels like; we can be talking about something around fifty people, and about something that everyone already knows but it still feels private and secretive and like nothing else matters. Well, to me at least. I feel like it could really be something so good. There is just a sparkle about him.

Can i please be worth it to someone,
for anything for once. Please.
Right now, im completley putting my self out there.
I know exactly what this is gonna end up as too;
Me, beating the shit out of myself.

sick.

margggg @ 2008-03-16T11:26:00

2008-03-16T15:43:17Z

I dont know what im supposed to do.
I cant tell you how many times i've started to call you
I just cannot bring my self to hit send,
I dont even know what i would say.
I want to tell you that i love, and i want to kick your fucking ass.
you need to get your fucking shit together.
You're going to fucking die.
I don't even know what i would do with myself.

margggg @ 2008-03-08T11:51:00

2008-03-08T16:52:24Z

my hand has been asleep and tingling for almost a week now,
i dont think this is a good sign.

Dylans supposed to come today and cause havoc with me<33
fuck i miss her

margggg @ 2008-03-07T19:13:00

2008-03-08T00:20:19Z

how long do you think a human can hold thier pee?
you dont know.
Ive been crying my big fat eyes out all day..
you dont care.

Amanda better be comming over tonight or im shoving spikey objects into her urethra<333
I love her, she has a big conk:)
REMIND ME TO CALL IT THAT FROM NOW ON

GALAVANT
that word sounds so nice to me right now

im peeing my pants as we speak

margggg @ 2008-03-02T14:00:00

2008-03-02T19:00:59Z

one year.